Rock ‘n’ roll love story: After decades of friendship, Tommy James will marry manager Carol Ross

Carol Ross and Tommy James will get married in April.

Tommy James — best known for hit 1960s singles such as “Mony Mony,” “Hanky Panky,” “Crimson and Clover” and “I Think We’re Alone Now” — still maintains a busy touring schedule with his band the Shondells, and also works as a DJ on SiriusXM satellite radio’s ’60s Gold channel (channel 73), and on various other projects. And next month, he will marry his longtime manager Carol Ross. “We’re squeezing this wedding in, between two gigs,” he says with a laugh.

For decades, James’ and Ross’ relationship was platonic. But after Ross’ husband Bill died in 2011, and James’ wife Lynda died in 2022, that changed. Their wedding is scheduled for April 5.

James calls it “kind of a cool little love story.”

At the time that they met, in 1987, Ross — who had worked, in her career as a publicist, with Paul McCartney, Billy Joel, Cher, Kiss and many other artists — had her own publicity company, The Press Office. Initially, she just took James on as one of her publicity clients, but now she works exclusively as his manager, while also serving as a member of the advisory board of The New Jersey Hall of Fame. (James, who was born in Ohio and grew up in Michigan but has lived in the Garden State since the early ’70s, was inducted in 2017).

I talked to the happy couple last week.

Q. Congratulations, first of all.

James: Thank you.

Ross: Thank you.

Q: Will it be a big wedding or a small wedding …

Ross: Well, it’s kind of medium. It’s not really big. Maybe about 90 people. It’ll be fun. A lot of people in the business: music people and entertainment people, and we have people coming from California and Nashville …

James: People that we both know.

Ross: It’s basically people that we’ve worked with and known throughout the years that we’ve maintained good relationships with and warm relationships with, and we wanted them to be a part of our celebration.

I’ve been with Tommy for 38 years, working as first his PR person and then his manager, and it just evolved when both of our spouses passed away. It just seemed like the natural thing to do.

Q: Let’s start, kind of, in the beginning. Do you guys remember a lot about when you first met?

Ross: Yes, absolutely.

James: We met at Madison Square Garden in 1987.

Ross: I was a fan, and I bought tickets. I didn’t know him (personally). I bought tickets and my friend and I were going and I was telling another, kind of a business associate of mine. I said, ‘I’m going to see Tommy James tonight.’ And he said to me, ‘Carol, I can’t believe you’re saying that. We are working with Tommy and I was gonna call you tomorrow to set up a meeting, for you to handle his publicity.’ And I said, ‘Oh my God, that’s ironic.’ He said, ‘So come backstage after the show and I’ll introduce you and we’ll take it from there.’ So that’s how it started. I went as a fan.

Q: But you were obviously working full time in the music industry, too.

Ross: Yes. I had my company, The Press Office, in New York, and we had a lot of clients and fortunately we had a wonderful reputation and were working with major artists. The fact that I was also a fan made it a lot easier because I knew the music and I knew his story, so it worked out great.

James: She was my manager all those years. And of course, we were married to other people. And when our spouses passed away, we just started to look at each other in a different kind of way. And before I knew it, I loved the girl. That really is a true story. So it’s kind of a cool little love story.

Carol Ross and Tommy James.

Q: Going back a bit … did you become both his publicist and his manager right away, or did that take a while, too?

Ross: It took a little while, because I understood the responsibility of a manager and I wasn’t sure that I could handle it with running, also, my company, with other clients. I had to think about that. So eventually I did close the Office and went into full-time management with Tommy.

Q: Did you manage other artists, too?

Ross: No, I was never a manager. I was always representing people within the public relations world. But it worked out great and it works out even better now because it’s not like I’m just on the phone with him and hang up. I mean, we can talk about our business and Tommy’s career all the time.

James: It’s literally a family business now.

Q: What year, approximately, did you become his manager?

Ross: I don’t remember the exact year, but it was a few years (after we met).

Q: Like, sometime in the ’90s?

Ross: Yes, Exactly.

Q: So, even though you were married to other people, was there an an attraction?

Ross: No. In my career, I said, “You never cross over the line.” And I made that clear to my staff as well. No, we never crossed over the line. We had an affection for one another and respect for one another as professionals. It never was anything other than that.

Q: Right. But of course managing is a very intimate thing. I don’t mean sexually.

James: Yes it is. And it really boils down to looking out for the other person, and trust.

Ross: So we had built that up already. And also knowing him as a person, not just as “Tommy James” (the musician), and him knowing me as a person.

James: We don’t have to get to know each other.

Ross: It just seemed like a natural progression.

James: It did.

Tommy James and Carol Ross.

Q: And I guess, just as friends, you kind of helped each other get through it, when your spouses died.

James: We sure did, yeah.

Ross: We sure did. I went with Tommy through the whole process and that was, you know … that’s what you do.

James: I think in many ways it strengthened the bond between us.

Ross: It did, yeah. And we love working together, and we have a lot of fun. We sit and talk about the music. We talk about ideas for the future, and it a very natural thing. As I said before, it’s not like me being in my office and calling on the phone and then hanging up and I’m on to something else. We are constantly coming up with creative ideas.

James: And she stuck with me …

Ross: It makes the relationship even stronger because we have so much in common and we can talk about the same things. We knew the same people, so we would reminisce about the different people that we knew and worked with, and so it’s really grounded.

Q: When you started to think that you might get together (romantically), was there any hesitation, because you worked together? Did you kind of have to talk that out?

James: The amazing thing was, we didn’t have to do a lot of talking. We just understood each other. There were a few things. Obviously, when someone’s been your manager that long … but, I mean, that made it so much easier, actually. There were very few things we had to discuss. I just found it to be totally natural because there’s nobody else that I had shared my life with, other than Carol and my wife.

TOMMY JAMES

Ross: I would, you know, fool around and say, “I’m putting on my manager face today” (laughs). And then, you know, take it off. But no, it just seems to work out fine all the time now. I don’t even have to do that. It’s just a natural thing.

James: You know, we’re involved in so many projects and there’s nobody’s opinion or take on things that I value more than Carol. She’d be the first one I would go to, anyway.

Q: It is a phenomenon that exists a lot in the music industry. There are a lot of examples of musicians who marry their managers, because it is such an intimate relationship.

Ross: Well, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. Fortunately, because of the amount of time that we know each other, it’s much stronger and secure. I don’t know how it would have worked if we only knew each other a few years. I think the fact that we’ve lived pretty much together for all these years with the work and everything else … it just seems a lot easier.

Q: So what else is going on, with the music? Are you going to have a lot of projects this year?

Ross: He’s touring every weekend, and his show on SiriusXM is in the Top 5, and they love him and that’s very successful. He’s got a heavy schedule there because when he gets home from the tour date, he has to start working on his show and he produces it. He searches out all the artists, he looks for back stories and he puts it all together himself. We go in on Wednesdays to record.

So that’s great, and he loves to do it, although when I first approached him about it, when I was talking to SiriusXM and I told him about him having a show … well, he razzed me out on the phone, boy.

James: (I said) “I’m not a DJ! What the hell am I gonna do!”

The cover of the book “Me, the Mob, and the Music One Helluva Ride with Tommy James & The Shondells,” co-written by James and Martin Fitzpatrick.

Ross: And now it’s in its eighth year, and he’s loving every minute of it. And then we have the the book (2010’s “Me, the Mob, and the Music: One Helluva Ride with Tommy James & The Shondells”), which has been discussed for film and now it’s coming to other areas: a possible television series, and also for Broadway. So we have a lot going on, in the works.

What I have learned over the years, Jay, is that the film business is not like the music business. You know, in the music business, you do things, and it gets done pretty quickly. In the movie business, things take years, for various reasons. People are not available and you want this one, and that one’s not available now. “Do you want to wait two years till they are?” I’ve learned a great deal about patience in that business.

James: Also, I’m in the studio working on a couple of projects. One of them is … not too long ago, Sony Music Publishing purchased the entire Beatle catalog. And they also purchased Motown — the entire music catalog — and asked me if I would consider doing some covers of music from those two catalogs. So I picked two songs from each catalog and I’m in the process of doing them right now for Sony, for use in films. I’m having a lot of fun doing it.

Q: Which songs, if you don’t mind saying?

James: Well, one of the Beatles songs I decided to do was “You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away,” which was written by John Lennon, and he did a very sparse arrangement of it, just him and the acoustic guitar, and it’s wide open for production. We sort of did it gospel-style, because the song just kind of lends itself to, I think, a gospel version. The big hook sounds very spiritual.

The other (Beatles) one I’m doing is “Here, There and Everywhere.” Of course that was Paul’s song, and I’m working on that right now. I’m almost finished.

And then the first song from the Motown catalog I did was The Supremes’ first hit, “Where Did Our Love Go.” We slowed that down a bit and created a kind of new version of it. And I haven’t decided on the fourth song yet.

Q: I saw, a couple of weeks ago, that you had to cut a show short when you weren’t feeling well (March 7 in Las Vegas). I assume you’re feeling OK now, though?

James: Yes I am. It was just kind of an aberration: I got really exhausted and overheated onstage and I was feeling faint and I figured I’d better leave the stage at that point. And the next morning I was fine.

Ross: But let me tell you this: We’ve been trying to get him … he has to learn to go in a night before, when there’s a flight over 3½ hours, because getting up at 3 in the morning, dressing, getting to the airport, waiting for the plane, getting on a plane, and then flying 5½ hours and then landing, getting to the hotel, getting down to do a soundcheck and then doing a show … exhaustion. It’s too much. So the band and all of us have been telling him that he’s got to go in the night before when it’s anything over that amount of time. So that’s what happened and, you know, of course, everybody scolded him (laughs). But he’s fine.

Tommy James point to his circle on the New Jersey Hall of Fame’s Wall of Fame at the American Dream mall in East Rutherford.

Q: I’m glad to hear that. So now, Carol, you’re still working on the New Jersey Hall of Fame board?

Ross: Yes, I love working with (New Jersey Hall of Fame president) Steve Edwards there and helping, whatever way I can. They usually will call me on the music people, and suggestions.

By the way, we’re going to be doing a Tommy James Day. We’re working on that now, where it’ll be a special tribute to him. He’ll go to American Dream, and he’ll be there and talk to people and whatever. They’re spotlighting a lot of the people, and so Tommy is one of them coming up.

Q: Is there a date set for that yet?

Ross: No, it’s probably at the end of April. I’m trying to see if we could get it around Tommy’s birthday, which is the 29th. But we have to work within his touring schedule.

James: We’re squeezing this wedding in, between two gigs.

Ross: We are! He works the week before and the week after.

Q: Is there going to be music at the wedding?

Ross: Yes. In fact Glenn Taylor, who owns Taylor-Made Studios (in Caldwell), where Tommy records, and we also do the Sirius show from there, has his own band called The Kootz. And so Tommy hired him to play.

James: It’s gonna be a great day and an awesome event. A lot of memories are gonna be associated with this, and an April wedding, I think, is just kind of perfect.

Q: OK. Well, again, congratulations to you both. It’s nice to be able to write about something good and positive.

Ross: Yes! We do need that now, don’t we?

Tommy James & the Shondells’ next New Jersey concert will be at BergenPAC in Englewood, June 22. Visit ticketmaster.com. For more about him, visit tommyjames.com.

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